90 Miles From Tyranny

Friday, April 18, 2014

IPCC-ACLU Report: The Easter Bunny causes climate change..

By Eric Golub
In a new bombshell report designed to strip away the last ounce of American social fabric, a joint panel of leftists issued a report that could cancel the holiest Christian Sunday on the calendar. According to the International Panel on Climate Change-American Civil Liberties Union report, the Easter Bunny causes climate change.

The report recommends that all Easter egg rolls be immediately canceled. The movement of eggs on the grass in a rolling fashion does damage to the grass, and the Easter Bunny himself exhales poisonous carbon dioxide.

The IPCC-ACLU groups stressed that for America to truly be a politically leftist utopian paradise, nobody will be allowed to engage in anything that any reasonable person could possibly consider fun. All happy children must grow up to be as dour and miserable as the leftists in charge.

The National Organization for Women cried sexism that children have to learn about Easter from a male rabbit rather than a female one. The female rabbits do all the hard work of preparing the eggs, yet the male bunnies get to frolic on the lawn with the kids and reap all the glory. The NOW feminists, who have never found joy in anything ever, fully support the Easter Bunny ban.

One leftist Asian group declared the term “egg roll” to be an anti-Asian slur, and encouraged Easter participants to be more culturally sensitive. When Americans asked if they should stop eating egg rolls so that Chinese restaurants go bankrupt, the leftist Asian group responded that kale was delicious.

The IPCC-ACLU report only applies to the Easter Bunny character, and not to Peter Rabbit when he is off the clock. As long as Peter is secular, he can not only roll eggs but throw them at nearby cars while yelling “Occupy.” The IPCC-ACLU report also recommended that leftists work with the Libertarians to replace the Easter Egg Roll with a Spring Solstice Marijuana Roll. The kids will be allowed to roll the joints themselves in keeping with Christian traditions as taught in Common Core textbooks.

This Satire Was Found Right HERE

Morning Mistress

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Girls With Guns...

New Al-Qaeda Plot Uncovered...

This Excludes The President Of The United States. He Is Actively Working To Destroy This Country...

The Fall Of Rome...

A Moment Of Serenity...

The Two-Tier Justice System...

"We've got to have a civilian national security force that's just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded......"

Check.

"We cannot continue to rely on our military in order to achieve the national security objectives that we've set. We've got to have a civilian national security force that's just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded." - Barack Hussein Obama

..Not Even A Smidgen Of Corruption...

Australia's Prime Minister Tony Abbott Endangers The World By Firing Climate Scientists In His Country

Prime Minister Tony Abbot is recklessly firing climate scientists in his country without regard on how it will affect other countries.

Does he ever stop to think where these climate scientists and their climate data models will go? That's right, they will go to other countries, endangering jobs, productivity and entire economies in the wake of their fossil fueled migrations.

Tony Abbot is unleashing a cancer upon the world, a cancer that spreads unemployment, misery, starvation and in the latter stages civil unrest and revolution. These dangerous climate cultists are paid to produce one thing: false data in order to increase the size of government, the need for government and to reduce the freedom and rights of the affected peoples of said nations.

Tony Abbot is selfishly enriching his own country on the backs of every other country on this old, old planet earth, a planet that has for billions and billions of years changed its own climate without the guidance of climate scientists. Ice ages and periods of great warming have occurred without enriching climate scientists and governments, which can prosper by sowing lies, fear and flawed climate models.

Tony Abbot does not seem to understand that the natural order of things is that government must continue to grow until the very gravity of government consumes and destroys itself followed by death, anarchy, disease, starvation and finally after many brutal decades of misery; renewal, just like the fall of Rome. By firing the climate scientists, Tony Abbot takes a hockey stick to the normal cycle of humanity and ushers in a future of prosperity for Australia. This level of selfishness must not go unpunished! Go forth young journalists! Write many, many bad things about TONY ABBOT!

Now read This: